In the Midst of Chaos

"There is no situation so chaotic that God cannot, from that situation, create something that is surpassingly good. He did it at the creation. He did it at the cross. He is doing it today." (Bishop Moule)

For years, chaos was normal for me. I not only lived in a world of chaos, but my life was close to a mini representation of it. If things were quiet, I'd somehow get it stirred up. When I began to realize that peace, not just in the world, but in the home, was aspired to by most people, I began questioning where my need for chaos came from.

As I learned about the effects of alcholism on families, a picture was emerging. My father was an alcoholic. But I could not admit that he was less than perfect. As the child of an alcoholic, it was my role to be perfect and a perfect child had to have perfect parents. So I continued to wear the mask and play the role, even though it drove me crazy living the lie. Then I chose to marry an alcoholic, believing that I was strong enough to deal with it. I thought my childhood was chaotic, but nothing like being committed to a continual daily dose. But I loved both of my alcoholics.

Although I'd been a church goer since childhood, it was not until I began working the 12 Steps in Al-Anon that I began to understand the chaos in my life, accept it, and truly place it in the Lord's hands. I had to admit my powerlessness over alcohol and turn my life totally over to him. As a nearly life long Christian, I thought I'd done that years ago. I guess I had been fooled again, by our enemy, satan.

I've been on an unbelievable journey with God this past year. He has given me a new group of friends who, by His grace, are accepting, loving and encouraging. Instead of fueling the chaos, I'm letting Him take over and life is much calmer. I am so grateful for this new journey I am on and excited to see where He is leading me.

In I Thessalonians 5:16 we are encouraged to: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Gracious God, creator of all universe, thank you for walking beside me on this journey. Help me to stay calm in the midst of chaos. Help me stay focused on the meaning of the cross and joyful for Christ's role in bringing peace to my chaotic life and to our chaotic world.